Here’s an excerpt from an interview with questions asked by playwright Allan Havis, provost of Thurgood Marshall College at UC San Diego. A Look at the Hardships of International Adoption: A Conversation with Jessica O’Dwyer, was posted on the Marshall Institute Blog on February 14, 2011.
Click here to read the interview in its entirety.
Mamalita, your new well reviewed book, shows an American woman’s quest to adopt a baby girl despite an amazing series of hurdles in Guatemala. Was it cathartic to put this personal story down on paper?
Very much so. When I came home from Guatemala, my husband was convinced I was suffering from a form of post-traumatic stress. I panicked at unexpected things—for example, seeing my address listed in a directory—because I was afraid someone bad was after me. Writing allowed me to get the story out of myself. It gave me perspective and distance.
You actively correspond with the birth mother of your child. How does that impact your parenting and your dialogue with your child?
Since searching for and meeting Olivia’s birth mother, “Ana,” a Maya widow who speaks K’iche and some Spanish, I have much greater insight into my daughter’s cultural and genetic personality traits. Olivia’s stillness and self-containment, for example—I recognize those traits as coming from Ana, and from her Maya roots. Meeting Ana has given a new calmness to Olivia. There’s no longer a mystery at her core. She knows who she is, and where she comes from. I describe it as a circle being closed. We talk by cell phone and visit once a year. Every family is different, but for us, an international, open adoption works. I recommend it.
The 2003 film by John Sayles, Casa de los Babys, depicts several American women waiting out their residency requirements in order to adopt in an unnamed Latin American nation. Did the film accurately convey the world of what you experienced firsthand?
The emotions of longing, and fear, and helplessness felt very familiar. The details were different—we had no residency requirement although I lived in Antigua for six months, and the solution was not as simple as the one depicted—but the passion felt the same. I loved that movie.
How do celebrities like Angelina Jolie and Madonna misdirect the perception about international adoptions?
They make it look so easy! And, I assure you, it’s not. That aside, I applaud both women for raising awareness of international adoption, and keeping it on the front page. Today, in the world, there are some100 million children living without permanent families or homes. If Angelina Jolie and Madonna inspire people to care about the fate of those children, more power to them.
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